En Español

Suicide is a leading cause of death in America. In Springfield, the average suicide mortality rate is higher than Missouri and the United States. Knowing the warning signs of suicide and knowing how to approach a conversation with someone who may be planning to hurt themselves are two key steps in suicide prevention.

If your loved one is in a crisis or is actively attempting to hurt themselves, call 988 immediately to connect to crisis resources.

What do I say?

If you are worried that someone you know is considering suicide, or they have asked you for help, one of the first steps is to ask them directly if they are thinking about killing themselves. This may seem counter-intuitive—won’t they think about it more if I ask? The answer is no. Studies show asking directly does not increase suicidal thoughts or actions of someone who may be considering it already.

Asking this question may be difficult for both parties. Following these steps can help ease the hard conversation:

1. Try to pick a time and place that will increase privacy. Having this conversation in a safe, private place, like in the car or at home, may be more comfortable than in a loud restaurant or public setting.
2. Let them know you are worried about them and want to help. If there are specific behaviors or warning signs you have noticed, it’s good to mention them. For example, you can say, “I am worried about you because I have noticed you aren’t sleeping much. What can I do to help?”
3. Ask if they are considering suicide. Phrase the question clearly: “Are you thinking about killing yourself?”
4. If they don’t want to talk, keep the door open. Ask them if there is someone else they would be comfortable talking to, and let them know you’re available if they want to talk another time.
5. Listen and stay calm if they say yes. Ask how you can help support them and offer connections to professional resources, like mental health treatment or helplines like 988. Ask if they want you to stay with them while they get connected.
6. Validate their feelings. You can say something like, “I’m glad you feel comfortable talking to me about this. I’m sorry you are feeling this way and I am here for you.”
7. Don’t promise to keep it a secret. If they are considering suicide, they need professional support. It’s not something you can keep a secret, and it is better for their safety in the long run.

After having an initial conversation with someone, it is important to follow up. This will let your loved one know you are willing to walk alongside them as they get the help and support they need. Your support reminds them they are not alone.

It is also important to take care of yourself if you are helping someone through these tough conversations. Your mental health matters, too.

Discover self-care resources and get connected to treatment.

Information adapted from National Institute of Mental Health and The Jed Foundation.